So, this “Hobbit” mess…

I haven’t seen it. I won’t see it. I had been saying that I would never, ever pay money to see it, but the more I learn about it the more horrified I am, till I’ve reached the stage that I flatly refuse to watch it. There are plenty of reasons – the face of three movies, the presence of Tauriel, Legolas, Galadriel, and Radagast, the giant jackrabbit, the moose, and I could keep going – but suffice to say that as of this time yesterday my only feelings on the whole disgusting project was contempt and loathing for Peter Jackson and his cohorts. But yesterday it ratcheted up a little – if this is accurate.

I came across a gifset someone made, with captions as follows:
Bilbo: “Excuse me, but that is a doily, not a dishcloth!”
Dwarf: “But it’s full of holes.”
Bilbo: “It’s supposed to look like that. It’s crochet.”
Dwarf: “Oh, and a wonderful game it is too – if you’ve got the balls for it.”

That sound you hear is my blood pressure continuing to go up; it’s like the carnival game where you try to ring the bell at the top of the thing. If I start enumerating the various ways this horrifies me this will be a very long post, and the bell will go ding, so I’ll cut to the chase: my question is, to those of you who have seen the movie: is this accurate, or was someone amusing him/herself?

Please tell me someone thought they were being funny.

Lie to me if you have to.

I don’t want to have to harbor that much hatred for one human being.


Update, December 2014 – I found a transcript online of this thing. The above “dialogue” is taken straight from the movie. I loathe Peter Jackson.

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7 Responses to So, this “Hobbit” mess…

  1. You’ve nearly convinced me to avoid it.

  2. stewartry says:

    I’m sorry.

    Wait, no I’m not.

    It (obviously) makes me a little crazy that PJ couldn’t contain his potty humor long enough to get these films in the can; I could handle the rest of his offenses, but that makes me want to slap him.

  3. tmso says:

    I don’t remember those lines specifically. If they were in there, I completely forgot them. I did enjoy the movie, though, I’m sorry to say. I took it for what it was, Peter Jackson’s interpretation.

    Maybe they’ll come out with a more accurate one in the future? We can hope!

  4. I’m not sure how accurate the last part of that dialogue is, but there was definitely something about a doily not a dishcloth. AVOID THESE MOVIES. The first one is mostly padding and special effects, and I’m sure it’ll get worse (and I was, until The Hobbit, a PJ fan!)

  5. calmgrove says:

    This first-parter was so disappointing. I could just about bear the changes and the whimsy (the Star Wars reference in the final battle with Legolas single-handedly defeating the oliphant) in The Lord of the Rings because there was an overarching respect for the book in the film trilogy and moments of visual poetry.

    But here the whimsy is insufferable, the changes arbitrary, the tone crass and the CGI creaky. I hated the Indiana Jones homage in Moria. The introduction of Azog is crudely done. “Mess” is the right word. It’s so sad.

  6. stewartry says:

    It is sad. As you say, there was enough in especially the first two movies to balance the nonsense, but for me RotK was a travesty, and I was crushed when I found out PJ was doing Hobbit. There are times when I hate being right …

  7. stewartry says:

    Argh. It’s so disappointing. The casting is, on the whole, so good – but the writing and production so very bad. Yeah, I’ll keep staying away.

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