Witches Protection Program by Michael Phillip Cash

Well. This has gotten a whole raft of five-star reviews (including from at least one person who doesn’t seem to have read it yet). I’m afraid this isn’t one of them.

I take it this was supposed to be in the vein of Larry Correia or some such; Wes, a young dyslexic cop from a long line of cops who suffers a massive fail and is booted out by his commander (also his father; is that plausible?) to a super special secret department that provides protection to good witches. Wes thinks it’s a joke. Because why not? It’s not like he was given any kind of, you know, training, or preparation, or anything silly like that. Nope – he was just tossed in to a situation completely blind, apparently so that he could … what, play reader surrogate and keep saying things like “But I don’t believe in witches” and other sentences beginning with “but”. I could believe in the secret witches much more easily than I could buy this whole thing. Why should it all be so top secret? And, for that matter, why would a witch (“a person who uses magic and spells to get what they want”) need protection?

It was interesting that Wes was dyslexic; it’s not something I have much (any) experience of, and it provided an added dimension to Wes’s character. Sadly, as far as I got, it was one of the only dimensions to his character. It was when he quite nauseatingly ogled a girl, who blushed and simpered in response, that I quit.

Notable quote:
“Four hundred million units, you said?” Alastair looked concerned. “Is that a lot?”

Nah.

(The fact that the book’s title screams for an apostrophe didn’t help anything…)

What I did read grated. My reaction to all of the characters was a combination of disbelief, dislike, and irritation. My reaction to the plot was the same, intensified. Abandonded – even though this was a book received from Netgalley for an honest review (which this is, of what I did read). Can’t do it.

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